Author Archives: zain

Nurture your Inner Child during Youth Month

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Within each and everyone of us exists a part that will never grow old. We psychologists call this the Inner Child. It is a part of you that represents all your childhood experiences, memories and feelings- good and bad. It is that part of you that is the most naturally innocent, playful, down-to-earth and whose approach to life is simple and straightforward. So, in keeping with the theme of this month and in particular Youth Day tomorrow, lets all take some time out to be kind to our own Inner Child. Here are seven things that you can say to heal and nurture your Inner Child:

inner child

  1. I LOVE YOU

Growing up love may not have been freely available or we learnt that we needed to accomplish certain goals in order to receive love. But now we can tell ourselves that we are loveable. Say it whenever you see yourself in the mirror, or at any random moments. Love is the key to healing, so give to yourself. Why not?

  1. I HEAR YOU

When we feel hurt we may push these and other uncomfortable feelings away because we are older and because we tell ourselves that we are supposed to be able to deal with them. This is a message we may have received during childhood or learnt from our parents. But these feelings never really go away and they continue to have an affect on daily lives. So instead of suppressing these feelings tell your inner child “I hear you. We’ll work through it. Its going to be okay”

  1. YOU DIDN’T DESERVE THIS

As a child we may have experienced situations where we treated badly and we believed that we deserved it. This thinking gets carried through into adulthood and and therefore we believe that we deserve the treatment we receive. But what we have to remember that a child is innocent and as adults we are are now able to understand that we did not and don’t deserve to be treated badly.

  1. IM SORRY

Somewhere we may have learnt that we needed to push ourselves really hard to achieve and criticise ourselves if we wanted to “play”. Say sorry to your inner child for not allowing her/him to play and enjoy everything that life has to offer.

  1. I FORGIVE YOU

Holding onto shame and regret is the quickest way to destroy yourself. We have to remember that the child’s interpretation is very different to that of an adult. Forgive youself for anything you thought you could have done better then.

  1. THANK YOU

Your inner child deserves your gratitude. Thank him/her for never giving up and trying to protect you in whatever she could and can to get you through the toughest and most painful experiences you may already have experienced.

  1. YOU DID YOUR BEST

Good enough, is good enough. Let go of perfection and the ever present fear of failure will dissipate. Being demanding and cruel no matter your achievements will only feed your fear. You did your best and that is good enough.

 

Lucy, C. (n.d.) 7 Things your inner child needs to hear. [Web blog post]. Retrieved from http://tinybuddha.com/blog-posts/

Milov, A. (2015). Love. [Sculpture]. Retreived from www.mymodernmet.com

Counselling Frequently Asked Questions

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counselling

 

Q:           How long does a session last?

A:                  50 – 60 minutes

 

Q:           How many sessions will I need?

A:                  At Student Counselling we offer you up to 6 sessions. However, we are also open to the fact that the amount of sessions differs from individual to individual. This will be discussed with your counsellor.

 

Q:           How often do I need to have a session?

A:                  At Student Counselling we offer a session once a week. Your counsellor will recommend to you how often you should have a session.

 

Q:           How much do sessions cost?

A:                  Counselling is free for registered CPUT students

 

Q:           Should I see a male or female therapist?

A:                  Individuals often wonder if they would do better with a male or female therapist. Factors such as warmth

and empathy are much more related to outcome than therapist gender. However, the nature of your particular problem as well as your own preferences may lead you to seek out a male or female therapist.

 

Q:           How do I make an appointment?

A:                  Call our friendly receptionist, Anthea on 0214603237 or pop into our offices in the Administration building, Room 2.7

 

Q:           What happens when I make an appointment?

A:                  At Student Counselling you will be required to go through our intake processes. This involves you telling a counsellor in 5-10 minutes what your reason is for seeking counselling. The counsellor on intake will either refer you to the best resource in CPUT or request the receptionist to make a booking with the next available counsellor.

 

Q:           What happens in a counselling session?

A:                  Your first counseling session may be scarier than the problem that is causing you to seek counseling. The first session starts with greetings and then a discussion of confidentiality. Most everything that happens in counselling is confidential. You are protected by strict rules that prohibit discussing anything that goes on in session or even that you are coming to counselling. There are some very specific exceptions to this rule, which will be discussed in the first session as well.

What brought you in to counseling is usually the starting point, so you can start working on your problems right way. Your family history and past will probably be reviewed at this time. The counsellor will discuss treatment options with you. We will make every effort to see that you receive the best available care, whether it is on or off campus.

 

Q:           How do I prepare for my first session?

A:                  Please arrive at least 15 minutes prior to the scheduled appointment to complete information forms. Show up with the intention to be as open and honest about yourself as you can be. The counsellor will want to learn about what is bringing you to counselling  at this time in your life and hopefully you will be interested in filling them in. The likelihood is that there is much you will want to tell the counsellor and he/she will be listening carefully and giving you their full attention.

 

Q:           Are all types of counselling the same?

A:                  Not all counsellors are the same, but they do have similarities. All counsellors should make you feel that you are supported and help you to make sense of your individual circumstances. By the end of any counselling you should feel that you are better equipped to cope with the future.

Each type of counselling is designed to help a different set of needs, and so counsellors will differ from each other in certain ways. Psychodynamic therapy concentrates on talking about your past, whereas other therapies may choose to focus on the present or even the future. Cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) often involves ‘homework’ for you to do. Bereavement therapy would focus more on helping you deal with difficult emotions.

 

Q:           Do I need counselling if I can handle my own problems?

A:                  A good indicator that you might need counseling is when you’re having difficulties at university, when you are having a hard time concentrating, if you feel unhappy more days than not, if you cannot sleep, have a hard time figuring out what is important in your life, or just cannot manage the stress anymore. If you are currently questioning if you should go into counselling, that is probably the best indicator that you should. Trust your instincts.

Q:           Isn’t it best for me to solve my own problems?

A:                  A counsellor doesn’t solve your problems for you. Rather, he or she helps you clarify issues so you can solve problems on your own with a counsellor’s guidance, support, and expertise. The goal of counselling is to make you more self-sufficient, not more dependent.

 

Q:          Can I refer someone who might need counselling?

A:                  The most effective way for someone to get counselling is if they come to the decision of their own accord. What we can suggest is to ask for a referral card from our receptionist and encourage the person who may need the help to contact us in their own time.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

10 Lessons I have learnt on my way to reaching my goal weight

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  1. Set a goal for yourself. Whether it is reaching a specific weight, wearing a specific item of clothing or meeting that special someone.
  2. Quick fixes don’t work and don’t last. They may take the weight off but depriving your body of specific food groups mean that the weight will come back even when you try to maintain your weight. Introducing that missing food group causes your body to grab onto it and store it for eternity because it’s afraid that you will stop eating it again.
  3. You don’t have to eat salad for breakfast, lunch and supper. It’s all about portion control. Just eat less and with less fat and processed ingredients. I hate salads and still enjoy my pasta.
  4. Doing it as a group helps but can also hinder your journey as others fall out or lose their motivation especially if they are your motivation to lose weight. Set your OWN goals.
  5. Don’t let others tell you what you should or should not weigh. You know how you feel in your skin and no –one can tell you how to feel.
  6. Don’t be demotivated by” friendly” comments about “your obsession with weight loss”. If you have set your mind to it, it’s not your obsession but your mission and obsessive behaviour is sometimes required *giggle*
  7. There will be hard days but there will also be easy ones. Just pick yourself up and keep going.
  8. Get active and exercise as you lose weight. It will help with toning the skin.
  9. They say food is 90 % of weight loss and exercise 10 %. But you can change this depending on your activity level. Exercise also increases your metabolism.
  10. Reaching your goal weight feels amazing and you can pat yourself on the back for all your hard work. Go ahead! Do it!