Peer pressure can be tough to deal with, especially when you are in university years. The desire to fit in and feel like you are part of a group is completely normal, and most people feel this way their entire lives. The important thing about peer pressure is that it can sometimes be positive, but other times it can be a bad influence in our lives. Combating the pressure of your peers can be challenging but it’s essential that you know what your own personal values are and where you stand about certain things.

Positive vs. Negative Peer Pressure

Negative peer pressure is often dangerous and against school rules, home rules and personal values. Examples of peer pressure might be: skipping school, vandalizing, smoking, sneaking out of the house, bullying or disrespecting authority.

Positive peer pressure is often overlooked but does exist and may be described as an influence to do what is right. Examples: Studying, volunteering, befriending someone, Community service, or joining a sports team.

The Difference with University

When you’re in college, it can be harder to avoid peer pressure since you’re on your own, an adult, and maybe even living away from home. Your parents are no longer there to watch over you, and ultimately you will be responsible for the decisions you make. If you ever feel pressured to do something you don’t like or do not want to do, simply tell the person pressuring you “thanks but no thanks” and move on. If you end up in a situation where you feel uncomfortable, graciously leave the situation and go home. If you’re involved in a more complicated or even dangerous situation, talk to an adult you trust like your parents, your professor, if you feel the need. Always remember that you will deal with the consequences of your own actions, so avoiding peer pressure is a good way to stay out of trouble and keep your life on track.

Fighting Peer Pressure: One of the ways you can fight peer pressure is to be involved in a group of friends who are focused on their schooling, and even join a club or sports team. Stay busy and avoid parties where you think drinking and drugs might be involved. Instead, order a pizza and have some friends over for a movie night. Pressure can be in the form of drug or alcohol use, sexual pressure, the pressure to do something wrong like commit vandalism, or even something like bullying.

Be careful who you hang out with: The best way to avoid bad peer pressure is to avoid people who get into situations like that. Sometimes, we become friends with people because they’re cool and we want to be cool, too, but a lot of the time those people don’t really care about us. Your real friends will understand when things make you uncomfortable and they won’t pressure you into doing things you don’t want to do. Real friends won’t pressure you, ask you to do things that are dangerous or make you uncomfortable. They will like you no matter what, even if you don’t enjoy the same things that they enjoy. These are the kind of people that you should be friends with. People who judge you or pressure you just want someone that they can boss around, and you deserve better.

Keep busy with healthy activities: Another way to avoid peer pressure is to spend leisure time doing activities that you really enjoy, instead of with people who will pressure you. Find another activity that you want to do but that will keep you busy. For example, you can take a class in a subject that interests you from the local community centre. If you don’t have the money, you can usually get scholarships or a reduced rate if you ask.

Another option would be to get a job. This keeps you busy but it also lets you build your resume and make money. Not only will you stay away from peer pressure but really soon you’ll have money for a brand new phone or a new PlayStation.

Don’t be afraid to ask for help or advice. The thing about peer pressure is that just about everyone – even adults – experiences it… Lots of people have found ways to deal with it and by asking for advice; you might find some really helpful techniques. Someone that knows you better might also be able to give you advice that’s more specific to your situation. Just be sure that you’re asking someone you really trust. Talk to a trusted friend. Say something like: “Lindi is really pressuring me to go to a party where “everything goes”. Do I just say: ‘”My parents won’t allow me to go to parties without adult supervision?” or “Thank you for thinking of me, but I have something else to do?” What should I do?

Define yourself and do what matters to you. Don’t spend time caring what other people think of you. It’s not their life, it’s yours! Instead, worry about what you think of you. Do things that make you feel good. Be the person that you want to be. In a few years, you’ll be happy and successful, while they’re probably regretting wasting their time and life. Eleanor Roosevelt, a very smart and important lady, once said something very smart about this: “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” Don’t give them your consent.

Sources

http://kidshealth.org/kid/feeling/friend/peer_pressure.html

http://www.teensforlife.com/hot-topics/peer-pressure/

http://www.yourlifecounts.org/blog/20-ways-avoid-peer-pressure

Janine van Sitters-Mintoor

Carrine is CPUT’s intern Student Counsellor and is the latest addition to the Student Counselling Services team. We sat down with her to find out how her three months at CPUT has been like as well as pick her brain on how to maintain wellness.

Part 1

What is a student counsellor?

A student counsellor is someone who has an adequate experience in psychology under the law that governs the profession of psychology. At student counselling, we aim to assist students by providing a supportive professional relationship between the referred students and counsellors. Together with the student, we identify the challenges to grasp an understanding of their situation. This enables the student to understand and gain clarity about their emotions attached to their situations that may be too overwhelming. Using our psychological expertise and experience, we aim to create a compassionate or empathetic stance. As a result, the student becomes resourceful because we believe the students are capable of self-growth and can overcome any situation. Therefore, together with the student we explore their patterns of coping strategies when the student is unable to cope and this enables them to gain clarity in their life. We therefore act as a guide or resource by psycho-educating the student around the referred problem and implement interventions to ensure their mental health or psychological wellbeing. In essence, our goal is to attend to the students best interests by actively listening, being genuine and dismiss judgments towards the client. During the counselling sessions, confidentiality/ privacy and ethical boundaries in the professional relationship are established, as well as expert advice around the problem are referred to proficient professionals to attend to the client’s primary psychosocial wellbeing. We also assist with career development, welfare services, support and advocacy, as well as skills development. To learn more about yourself as a student, we do psychological, interest and other standardized assessments to enhance the understanding about yourself and for career preparedness. To enhance your holistic wellbeing (personal growth) there are wellness awareness and community outreach programmes which enhances your quality of your knowledge/ involvement on your CV for alternative career experience.

Please tell us about the types of duties and typical day as a CPUT’s student counsellor.

On a daily basis I see a hand full of clients each with their individual problems during individual and therapy sessions. So far I assisted many students since the 19^th of February and others were walk-ins and referred to various professionals depending on their needs or problems. I have regular supervision by Dr C Petersen to ensure I am on par and this enhances my training to find better ways to enhance my approach during therapy. Together with Mrs J van Sitters Mintoor, we are constantly brainstorming ideas to enhance the student’s experiences in counselling in terms of providing career resources and interventions which ensures career success despite their referred problems, as well as the kind of environment to assist students in understanding themselves through self-help booklets. Together with other psychologists and student counsellors from Cape Town, Mowbray, and Athlone CPUT campus, I am involved with the peer helper programmes to enhance their abilities and skills to better assist students with a variety of problems. Every day there are different things I engage in to improve my people skills in various aspects of my profession. Even the social worker, Mrs Baca assists me with various queries students need assistance with. I also did 6 orientation slots in front of first year students to invite them to make use of their support systems CPUT offers, because it is free if you a registered student. I also do careers assessments for career preparedness (under supervision of course). Despite all the hard work we do during office times, there has to be time to ease our minds!! That takes place during our lunchtimes, birthdays and teambuilding activities.

To be continued….

Read Carrine’s My CPUT story part 2

 Romantic Valentine’s Day is much awaited by those in love… but dreaded by most singles!!

So much hype about this day that some singles even become depressed about not having a partner several days before the festival when they see stores decorated with candies, chocolates and flowers to lure the one’s in love. Some times the sense of isolation becomes so strong that many singles tend to “hate Valentine’s Day” – the day that is actually meant to celebrate love. Many single men and women go to the extent of calling Valentine’s Day a ‘Singles Awareness Day’. This is because they feel that the day strongly reminds them of their unattached status and not having someone to spend the day in romantic and much popularized manner. Initials of the day ‘S-A-D’ reflect their status of feeling depressed and unloved.

But dateless people must keep in mind that Valentine’s Day is not just to be celebrated by romantically involved couples. The festival is celebrated to express love to anyone we are closed to. We can therefore celebrate Valentine’s Day with friends, siblings, parents, grandparents, teachers or anyone who made a difference to our lives with their affection and support. We must take opportunity of the Valentine’s Day festival to express our love and gratitude to all persons we love. And what better way to do so than by saying it with a gift of roses, chocolates and beautiful cards. Singles can make the most of Valentine’s Day by spending the day in the company of those they love or by indulging themselves with something luxurious. Here are some tips and ideas on how singles can celebrate the Valentine’s Day in charming and memorable fashion:

Valentine’s day is about loving yourself, and acknowledging those people who support you, or who randomly messages or visits you, or those people who have always been by your side or even changed your nappies or wiped your tears when you were too young to whisper or understand the words “I love you. Love is compatible and salient to the naked eye. By this I mean it’s not about spending this day with one person but it’s about spreading the love to express a sense of affiliation with many people who played a role in your life. The most loved person is not recognized by what you display in social media or having companions. It’s about broadcasting how blessed you are by identifying your family, friends, and acknowledging   yourself as the pilot of your happiness. Love has many appearances and expressions. Valentine’s Day is a “spreading the love day”

Dr. Laura S. Brown, professor of psychology at Argosy University/Seattle, offers tips on how single people and can celebrate Cupid’s Day, instead of being defeated by it. “Love is not about a particular day, or about cards, flowers, or even being in a relationship. The illusion that coupled people are happy and well-loved can feed feelings of loneliness or isolation for people who aren’t with someone, and wish they were,” says Brown. “Seeing the illusory nature of this day can be the first step in feeling better about being precisely who and where you are.” According to Brown, the most important message that singles should remember on Valentine’s Day is that love is not just for couples; it is for all of us.

How to Survive Valentine’s Day if you’re Single

The following are more ways that single men and women can enjoy Valentine’s Day without worrying about the pressures and pitfalls that often come with the day.

1. Do not define yourself by your relationship status. Your relationship status is not your identity.
2. If you are single because of a recent loss, allow this to be a day of grieving. Do not pretend that it’s not a hard day. Get support and sympathy.
3. Realize that Valentine’s Day is a commercial holiday. It is not about love and relationships; it is about selling flowers, candy, and diamond jewelry. Think of all the money you are saving.
4. Plan well in advance to do something that will not place you in the path of billing and cooing couples. Even if you usually like dining out alone, do something else on Valentine’s Day.
5. Get together with people who do love you — friends, family members, the people who already have relationships with you.
6. If you are single and you like it, now is the time to affirm your choice. People who never marry or partner have close, loving, emotionally intimate relationships and lives worth living. Do not let a couple-driven culture define your choice as something wrong.

Valentine’s Day Ideas for Singles

Pamper yourself

Buy yourself a cute Valentine’s Day gifts which could be flowers, a cute teddy or a dress you have been planning to buy. Singles may also indulge themselves by going to a spa for head to toe beauty treatment. Indulging in books, CDs, and gourmet meals can be a good way of enjoying the day for some.

Freak out with friends

Plan a dinner or movie with best friends. You may also throw a “singles party” or “Un-Valentine’s Day Party” at your home and have a blast. You will know that life is fun in the company of loving friends.

Acts of Service

Singles can spend Valentine’s Day in the meaningful way by spending time with the needy and downtrodden. You may visit an orphanage or old age home and spend time with the inmates there who are always in need of love and affection. Visiting hospitals and giving roses to sick can also be a touching way of experiencing bliss on Valentine’s Day.

Express Gratitude for friends and dear ones

Instead of feeling depressed and ashamed for not having a significant other to spend the day with, singles can spend Valentine’s Day in a constructive manner by expressing love and affection for people around them. One can thank and greet Valentine’s Day to one’s parents, friends, colleagues, neighbours or anyone dear.

Think Positive

Singles can make the most of Valentine’s Day by thinking positive and fighting away Valentine’s Day blues. One should not spend the day sulking for not having a spouse or beloved to spend the day in a happy manner.

References

http://www.chiff.com/a/Valentines-Survival-Guide.htm

http://www.yourtango.com/201167542/7-single-gals-valentines-day-ideas

By: Charlene Petersen

What is an internship?

• Structured opportunities for you to learn, grow, and contribute in a professional setting.
• Provides opportunities to apply classroom knowledge in a “real world
• Encourages you to develop and refine skills.
• Provides for supervision/feedback from a professional in the work field.

What an internship is NOT

• Primarily clerical or unskilled labour
• An experience you gain nothing from
• A vague, undefined experience
• An unguided/unsupervised experience

Why consider an internship?

• Explore one or more of your career interests
• Learn about particular industries, companies, and organizations.
• Apply all that classroom l
• Build your resume.
• Develop your skill sets for future job interviews.
• Networking

Benefits of doing an internship

• Career Exploration
• Leadership and Skill Development
• Networking and Establishing Mentors and References
• Resume Enhancements

Tips when doing an internship:

• Do your homework before your first day.
• Dress for success
• Treat the internship like a real job.
• Practice good time management.
• Socialize (with a filter).
• Ask questions.
• Be flexible.
• Network
• Find a mentor. Take initiative, but accept guidance
• Be respectful, but assertive.
• Challenge yourself. Keep tabs on your accomplishments..
• Ask for feedback.

Strategies in finding an internship

• Networking Departments have internship postings and information on their websites, or offer internship email lists to join.

Possible sites for applying for internships

• capeintern.com/
• travellersworldwide.com/
• careersportal.co.za
• cultural-ecology.com
•  4exchange-southafrica.com

This year to celebrate the 10th anniversary of CPUT, many inspiring stories of engaged students, researchers and people in the university community are shared. 

Thibogang, is a current CPUT student and an active member and facilitator of the Women’s group on the Bellville campus.  

Here is her story:

My journey at Cape Peninsula University of Technology was a long and hard one. It wasn’t easy. Coming from a small village called Lebotloane in the North West with little knowledge about big cities, it was my first time having to branch out on my own with no family or friends to support me. It wasn’t easy to adjust, so I sought help and bless the heavens there was support from an old schoolmate.

I really missed home and I knew I had to be strong because this was my fresh start and I wanted to prove that I was ready to go out in the world and succeed. I was studying electrical engineering and I found it challenging at the beginning, I remember there was this one time I was struggling so hard that I couldn’t cope, I missed home and I had so much anxiety and that is when I got introduced to Student Counselling.

This is when I met Ms Nthabiseng Afrika who then was my psychologist but has since become a good friend of mine. Soon after she picked me up because I had so much pressure to pass and I didn’t want to disappoint my family it was hard when the sessions began since it was the first time getting to admit to anyone that I was really having a tough time.

What I loved about Nthabiseng was that she never gave me answers and that is how I really got to know myself and realised the person I wanted to become and it felt like I was starting on a new clean slate. I started being organised in terms of my study times I had no social life but it was a small price to pay and as time passed it became easier to cope with my studies.

I got introduced to Fundani by a friend and that’s where I got tutors and I remember I was meeting up with him on a daily basis and he made me realise that nothing is impossible as long as I set my mind to it, he told me that the fact that I got accepted to do electrical engineering showed that I had the ability to do it. I was amazed that he had so much belief in me. I also joined a Christian organisation called Methodist student society and became the secretary. That’s where I realised that God is great I was surprised to meet so many young brothers and sisters who have so much faith.

Though my journey I also got an opportunity to embrace my talent and that is soccer. I joined the Cape Peninsula University of Technology women’s football team and joined the gym to keep fit and it made easier for me to open my mind and relieve me from stress.

After three years of hard work I was awarded my diploma in electrical engineering and immediately registered for my B-tech Quality I’m currently busy with it and I’m also involved in a few projects like women in leadership in the Student Development Department working with Mr Gqeba Malinge who is playing a big role in grooming me in leadership. I’m the coordinator for the women’s group where I’m working close with my mentor and friend Nthabiseng Afrika in empowering young ladies with the aim of getting them into leadership positions. I’m passionate about helping women realise their potential and aid to help as many women as I can.  I’m also looking forward to working with Dr Nosisana Mkhonto on FYE (First year experience) in collaboration with my NPC non-profit organisation in helping the first years adjust to varsity life and get them introduced to the different departments within the institution.

I’m Thibogang Kgatle and this is my Cape Peninsula University of Technology story. I think that this is the best varsity and all you need is there to help you make it. To all the passionate students out there, believe in yourself and never stop moving forward. If the journey is not easy, hang in there and hold your head up high and do what needs to be done. There is always light at the end of the tunnel. There’s support and resources to help us excel. and not only in aspects of school but life as well. Thank you Cape Peninsula University of Technology.

Message in a bottle, a message of hope

For 60 years, Al Anon Family Groups of South Africa has been providing help and hope to the families and friends of problem drinkers.

Al-Anon Family Groups offer understanding, help and support to the families of problem drinkers. It is a fellowship of relatives and friends who share their experience, strength and hope in order to solve common problems. They believe that alcoholism is a family illness and that changed attitudes can aid recovery.

Al-Anon is not allied with any sect, denomination, political entity, organization or institution; does not engage in any controversy, neither endorses nor opposes any cause. There are no dues for membership. Al-Anon is self -supporting through its own voluntary contributions, plus the sale of Conference-approved literature. Meetings are free, anonymous and confidential. Their primary purpose is to help families of problem drinkers.

AL ANON | Art Installation / Sculpture 

The piece has at its heart, a core element of Al Anon’s publicity campaign – a message in a bottle, a message of hope. This milestone provides a fantastic platform for the group to celebrate those whose lives have been made better through Al Anon, and to extend a message of hope to others who are still suffering. The public focus of the 60 years’ celebration has been the creation of a public art installation in the form of a HOPE sculpture. The structure is made of the four letters of HOPE. Each letter is made up of a steel frame holding dozens of clear bottles, all wired to the frame. Inside each bottle is a message from Al Anon members – messages of hope. Messages of how Al Anon has helped its members to rebuild their lives and their dignity; messages of how Al Anon has given them hope.

Whilst the public art is intended to raise the profile of Al Anon generally, naturally it is hoped that the installation will call out to individuals whose lives are affected by a problem drinker, and help them realize that they are not alone in this world – that if they just reached out they would find people who have travelled the same road as them.

The messages provide heartfelt reading for passersby, students, attendees.  The Al Anon publicity campaign- Hope- Message in a bottle sculpture is currently erected at the Cape Peninsula University of Technology, Bellville campus.  This project has been introduced to the various CPUT campuses as part of a broader awareness campaign. CPUT Bellville campus will launch this project on the 30th July and Wellington campus later.  This campaign will be followed up with talks at various residences, sharing personal testimonies of how Al Anon has helped its members to rebuild their lives and given them hope.

Al Anon’s Publicity Campaign ……Message in a bottle, a message of hope                                             

Launch at CPUT Bellville campus

30 July 2015

Lunch time : 13h00-14h00

The Dome of Remembrance

By: Charlene Petersen

So we all know what it is like to have a cash flow problem… Sometimes there is to many things to buy and too little money… Yeah right… A student knows all about that…

Knowing that this a common student challenge we held in February a Jewellery making session. This event coincided with Valentine’s Day, whereby students were thought to make jewellery items (earrings, arm and ankle bracelets). The trainer showed them from the beginning how to create a design and also how to manufacture it. On completion the students felt very proud and excited about their self-made products. As a student said” Now I can make my own jewellery”.

The purpose of making your own jewellery is to 1) start up your own jewellery-selling business, 2)unique gifts you can give to loved-ones 3) make your own designs that you won’t find in shops 4) a stress-relieving hobby.

If anyone is interested in finding out more about this jewellery-making workshop, drop us a comment beneath…

By: Janine Van Sitters-Mintoor

The relationship between alcohol abuse and academic performance is a concern among university students

If you answer yes to these question then you should see a counsellor at student counselling :

1. Do you  find yourself missing classes because you’ve  been drinking during the weekend ?
2. You miss classes because you have a hangover “bhabhalaza” ?
3. You go to classes drunk ?
4. You have one or two drinks before classes ?

We have a responsibility of promoting health and wellness on campus and we are here for you. Visit our offices between Monday and Friday from 8h00 until 16h30.

By: Phumla Baca (Welfare Officer, Student Counselling Unit)